It's so hard to recover especially if you've been abused by the one who is supposed to cover.
The one I love, the one that I trusted, has turned me to an empty soul that can only be pitied.
How? He walked in to my room with a mischievous smile,
"oh, it's just daddy" I thought.
He sat on my bed and pulled off my blanket. I sat up,
"daddy what is going on? Where's mom? Is she OK?"
"shhhh", he wisphered, "your mom is asleep, I just came to do what your mom can't". "what is that?" I asked.
"I want to make you a woman, I want to introduce you to womanhood before those useless little boys do".
Before I could say something, his hands was already on my thighs. He grabbed my little waist and tore my skily night dress. I was about to scream, whe he pressed my mouth with his and pinned my little body on the bed. I struggled but my fight was like a little fish in the Atlantic. He was too big, I felt his hands on my breast. No, this man that's on me couldn't be my father. I fought, I cried, I pleaded but he was dumb. I was in pain, I felt a kind of pain that words couldn't just describe.
He's finally done, he stood up and with an evil smile, he said, "welcome to womanhood".
"If this is what womanhood looks like, I regret being born a girl. If this is how painful it is, I regret being a female".
There was blood every where...
It was my fault...
I am filthy.
I feel so dirty, ashamed and afraid,
"it's your fault", wisphered the voice once again. "you grew up too fast, you seduced him with the clothes you wore, now look at yourself"
While fighting my thoughts, he said to me, "your mom wouldn't believe you even if you tell her".
He knew I won't dare to tell my mom because I was afraid of her. I loved him more than I loved her.
The one I trusted forcefully took away my innocence.
No one knew, they would just put the blame on me anyway, they would blame my beauty...
Nana Ghissa
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